When it comes to welding jokes, we have plenty of them for you to enjoy. These can be used at the workplace or in our free time to get a good laugh out of it. If you are a certified welder then these welding jokes will make you laugh as much as they made us laugh. We have attempted to collect the best welding jokes and put them in one place for you to enjoy.
Welders are always the center of jokes. They are considered to be the go-to people when it comes to fixing anything that has metal parts. The jokes are mainly focused on the way they work and how all people around them are afraid that they will get hurt or burned. We hope that you enjoy these welding jokes and we will also update with new ones as we find them.
Let’s take a look at some of the best welding jokes of all time.
Q: What is the difference between a welder and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Q: Why do welders have beards?
A: To hide their short-circuits.
Q: Why did the welder cross the road?
A: Better materials on the other side.
Q: Why do welders make so much money?
A: Because they are so good at “stickin’ it” to ya.
Q: How many welding enthusiasts does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they just have a competition to see who can hold theirs the longest.
Q: Why do welders not like leaving work?
A: Because it’s such a nice break from reality.
Q: What do you call a happy welder?
A: An oxymoron.
Q: What do welders use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: What does a welding school grad say after his first day on the job?
A: “I can’t see anything without my torch.”
Q: What do you call a lady welder?
A: Well, you wouldn’t call her one.
Q: What is the difference between a welder and a prostitute?
A: A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.
Q: What is the difference between a welder and a comedian?
A: A comedian tells jokes.
Q: What do you call a welder with half a brain?
Q: Did you know that 9 out of 10 people are afraid of welder’s?
A: The tenth person is in denial.
Q: What is the difference between a welder and a drug dealer?
A: A drug dealer can come up with the stuff when he is running low.
Q: Why do welders wear ear plugs?
A: So they don’t get told to “get back to work”.
Q: Why do welders get their neckties matched to their eyes?
A: To avoid a clash with their sparks.
Q: Why do welders have a better chance of getting laid than accountants?
A: Because they are more willing to take chances.
Q: What do you call a welder that is afraid of heights?
A: A ground-ed welder.
Q: Why are welders so hot?
A: They keep switching their irons on.
Q: Why did the welder have his dog neutered?
A: Because he didn’t want it chasing any other “hot” dogs.
Q: What is the difference between a welding rod and a welder?
A: One is hard to get into and the other one is hard to get out of.
Q: What do you call a welder who never finishes his job?
A: A welder.
Q: What did the welder say when he got fired from his job?
A: “I’m sorry, I thought you said ‘finish’. ”
Q: Why are welders always so grumpy?
A: Because they never get laid.
Q: How do you make a welder laugh on Friday?
A: Tell him that it’s hump day.
Q: What do you call a welder who cannot read?
Q: What do you call a welder with only one eye and both arms missing?
Q: Why did the welder wear a helmet?
A: Because he lost his head.
Q: Why do welders have big ears?
A: So they can hear better.
Q: What does a welder call his best friend?
A: A spotter.
Q: What did the welder with no arms and no hands say?
A: He said “Are you going to finish me off?”
Q: What do you call a welder without any friends?
Q: Why do welder’s have red lines on their hands?
A: From pressing up against hot metal all day.
Q: What is the difference between a bottle of beer and a welder?
A: A bottle of beer is always finished when you start it.
Q: What is the difference between a welder and a snake?
A: One has fangs and is poisonous, the other is a snake.
Q: What do you call a welder that is so rich, he only eats caviar?
Q: Why do welders wear earmuffs?
A: To stop them from listening to stupid questions.
Q: Why did the welder take off his watch?
A: He wanted to see how long it took to weld 5 inches.
Q: What do you call a welding that doesn’t work?
A: A waste of metal.
Q: Why did the welder cross the road?
A: It was too hot on the roof!
Q: What is the loudest noise you can hear in an arc welder?
Q: What do you call a good looking welder?
A: A welding stud.
Q: What do you call a welding that breaks all the time?
A: A crappy welder.
Q: How do you make a welding stop smoking?
A: Put a piece of MIG wire in it!
Q: What do you have when you have two welders in a closet?
A: A solid relationship!
Q: What is the definition of an optimist?
A: A welder who irons his pants on the sunny side.
Q: Why does a welding shop have a deadbolt on the door?
A: To keep the apprentices out.
We hope that you have enjoyed these welding jokes. If you or your friends are into welding then these jokes would be a good way to get a laugh out of it. We have tried to get the best welding jokes for you to read through and enjoy. Feel free to share these with your family and friends as well so they can enjoy these jokes as well.